There is no other option, comes the reply,
so it is when we judge with our eyes.
Filled with the measure we’ve sown
selling all to buy into the lie:

Love always trusts, never does it fail,
except this once, damn it to hell.

And this the tomb, our grave hebetude,
when we align our minds with false truth.

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this poem finds it’s weight in an endless amount of conversations and experiences. some are my own conversations, some from others, some were forward moving, others were negatively charged and rooted in fear…but it really seeks to explore a question we usually choose to avoid: what becomes of us when we align our minds with false truth and live in a place and a time where sin abounds? what becomes of a people when they choose to believe the “exceptions” rather than the “promises”?

does (true) love never fail…except when we think we’ve run out of options? is GOD the redeemer of all things…except that one thing? and so on and so on.

the low-down is basically a walk through matthew’s accounts and the various uses of the truly epic and oft-misunderstood phrase, “the kingdom of heaven/GOD.”

taking a page out of the rabbinical school of study, we’re first looking closely at the law of first mention(s) – both in the first and new covenants, considering the radical* birth of the kingdom of heaven/GOD and the inherent questions it raises for us today.

i am using the word ‘lost’ because as much as yochanan (john), yeshua (jesus), and the apostles used the phrase [kingdom of heaven/GOD], it seems the body of christ has largely swept it under the gospel-rug. and make no mistake, yochanan was certainly not the first one to coin that phrase: it stems from a history of empire and power and spheres of power or control; what may also be described as the dome of a king: a kingdom.

i am also using the word ‘lost’ because many of the symbols themselves have been, in a sense, lost unto us 21st century sojourners of the way: followers of the christ. we read his parables, we envision his symbols, then our minds go blank as we search for a mustard seed and plant around our neighborhoods in suburbia, and finally (most of us) skip – er, skim – the rest of the chapter, taking refuge with a familiar verse from psalms. note the bit of sarcasm…

we live in such a dome today. a nation of boundaries governed by a modern-day king-of-sorts: a president: one who presides, sits in front of.

it would not be far-fetched to say that we find our legal citizenship in the kingdom of america, for example.

so, does it matter and what does it mean that there exists another kingdom in the very midst of the one we’re in? how are we to make our living in light of this reality? etcetera and ellipsis.

Q/ what is the most recent conversation you have had regarding the “kingdom of heaven/GOD?” or do you find that you are not having very many conversations at all about it?

*radical. used here not to elicit images of mohawks or lady gaga; rather, in reference to the word’s origin, from radish: of or having roots. that is, being radical or, going back to the roots, to the beginning.

this post is more like the sparks version. quick(er) and concise(er). the distilled version of the once-already distilled version of my (current) philosophy of vocational ministry.

» be about filling every wineskin instead of spilling a lot of wine. as per discipleship: we can not convince ourselves that bigger is better: better is always better: and one full wineskin with deep, rich red wine is always better than a few skins with few drops of watered-down, premature wine. and i believe, if we pursue this, we will be in pursuit of the true gospel of yeshua of nazareth.

» look not to the fastest growing local churches but to the longest living local churches. we focus our efforts as the church platform on health and vitality, not, in a word, “growth,” which is unspecific in it’s direction and purpose: also, causing things to grow (in this context) is GOD’s concern, not ours (i.e. acts 2.47).

» praying for communitas, not only community. community is not bad. but if we could take even that idea deeper, our prayers might include a language reflective of transformation that is born out of hardships, moves toward and through endurance to become something greater than just a “group of people on a journey.” here, we’re invoking socio-politico-religio change on account of us changing first: in this, we will naturally become unified in our diversity.

» releasing debts and debtors instead of raising fists and fighters. we must be a people living in the habit of forgiving others as we’ve been forgiven, unconditionally* or we will surely become a people indebted to much more dangerous things than people. moreover, we are only as free as our hands are open: if we are a community holding on to debts or debtors, we are unable to receive/utilize with open hands the freedoms and liberties which are already ours in christ jesus.

» living toward redemption now rather than learning about it later. if we are not a local church living toward and into redemption now – we will not be when it matters most. our very ethos: language, block parties, liturgy, songs, art, business meetings (!) – it all should contain this dna – yeshua’s did: it is all part of the reality of the kingdom of heaven.

» substitute singulars for plurals more often than not. the whole corporate worship experience is shifted when we lead in this fashion: where songs typically isolate the “i, me, my” we breathe out the current reality of “we, us, ours”. we are, quite literally, composing a different song! and, i would argue, we are potentially creating a different future – but that’s for another time and…book.

» committing to conversation versus controlling the conversation. being committed to conversation has all the makings of humility, honor, wisdom, and discernment which leads to unity and advancement; however, when we are interested in controlling the conversation, we actually stunt growth, close doors of opportunity and isolate ourselves and our ministries through fear, pride, or short-sightedness.

» embracing what has prepared us instead of performing what we have planned. we use planning to channel what’s prepared us – but we can never substitute that preparation!

» MQLS or +?-! this is my hidden freebie and anchor to theology. ask more (disturbing) questions, administer less (formulaic) statements! YHWH is truth: we fear nothing else when/if we fear him alone.

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what’s up with the green text?

ultimately, i hope these are a catalyst for conversation and prayer and response. i absolutely beg your insight, comments, guidance, challenges, etc.

and i ask you, what are your “few drops” of philosophy as it relates to vocational ministry? what are those tangible, rubber-meets-the-road kind of things that you find yourself returning to time and time again?

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when walking the sun-dappled greenway, his not-quite-two year old heart can barely take it no more and he is drawn to another one of life’s most treasured and unique oddities: a stick.

he will collect all sorts of sticks during a two mile expedition. occasionally, he’ll stop to look at a flower or a caterpillar – but then something of triumphant value catches his eye and all attention is diverted to: a stick.

and my goodness! the amount of sticks this boy can cram in between his little hands and arms is astounding. just when you think he couldn’t possibly manage to hold them all while bending down to gather one more, he manipulates his pinky finger, focuses every ounce of energy and raises one more lonely stick from the cold earth from which it came. well, it’s not really all that dramatic, but it is pretty crazy.

so just yesterday this whole scenario, all of this dramatic stick-collecting and stick-raising activity, is happening like normal. and something for some reason, i blame it on the wind, causes my mind to make a correlation. this actually happens quite often if i am paying attention. and the correlation was between earth and heaven. basically, this is all a rambling way to say that i found a living object lesson unfolding in front of me.

and it was this: owen takes such great delight in collecting his sticks – perhaps he should, they represent, to him, a number of different mysterious things worth collecting! but truth be told: they are dead.

and in sort of a strange way, i watched him with this lens: walking around being drawn to and collecting little shards of death.

instantly i was struck with waves of questions:

is that an image of my life/my local church?

how often are we drawn to what we think is wildly full of life, but in the end, we look down to see our hands grasping: a stick?

how much of our life collection, so to speak, which is being held so close to our hearts is made up of old, dead fragments of lifeless ideas/traditions/beliefs?

are our lips near to GOD but our hearts far from GOD because we begin collecting and cherishing dead things? or do we begin to be drawn to the sticks of life when we become fluent with our mouth but foul with our heart? or is it a sad combination of both?

[selah]

but alas! before he becomes completely absorbed with his little lifeless wonders, i am able to convince him that we don’t need to take all the sticks home: certainly, there is an abundance of dead sticks to be found: what is wanted, my son, is life.

wait, was that what GOD said to me or what i said to owen or…? haha.

oh that we would put down our idols – and what many, many varied idols we have. oh that we would let go of the death we clutch between our hands.

what idols? you say. behold, the socio-politico-religio-relational idols. yes, even the ecclesiastical idols. the employment idols. the idols of security. of identity. of love or hate. of life or death. of want or need. every lie dressed up as truth. may they all be shaken and seen for what they are: death collecting death upon our hearts.

what are we holding on to? what are you holding on to?

i don’t have much to put forth yet. in regards to this: this whole akeidah story. but i do have some questions.

over the years, though, this has become one of the most common stops along my scriptural journey. this mountain. this father and this son.

“would you bring your isaac?” has become a phrase as synonymous with the story itself. the willingness to sacrifice. the exchange between avraham and YHWH. the whole thing.

but. i was reading through the story again. just the other night. and, as these living words often do, the story unfolded in a different way: everything about it was different.

and all the sudden, the weight was not on why avraham would get up early to sacrifice his son. it was not on how he, a 100+ year old father, managed to convince his healthy adult son to be bound on an altar. it wasn’t even on the incredible faithfulness of our mutual father, the sovereign LORD ALMIGHTY.

it was on the absence of one person: isaac. i am disturbed to the point of meditation and contemplation and conversation: why didn’t isaac go back down the mountain with his father? where did he go? what was he feeling? and what have others come to gain from meditating on such things?

[selah]

Who Do You Say Jesus Is: Nashville

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is this not the most elemental and fundamental of all questions? who do you say jesus is? period.

a friend of mine wanted to know what “the average person” walking the streets of nashville had to say in response to that question. so, wielding a handheld video camera and a stack of notecards, we took to the night.

“hey, excuse me. would you mind answering a question for us?”

“ummm…”

“we’re just curious to see what people have to say. if you want, you can simply answer the question and walk away. we’re not here to argue. we genuinely want to listen.”

“okay.”

“we’ll hand you a card. just flip it over, read out loud what is printed on it, and then give your response.”

a flood of responses began falling from people’s mouths: from the epic and chilling to the mundane and sad.

on the back of the card we had the website information that would lead anyone with ears to hear to the youtube video posted above.

i believe this question, more than any other question in all of history, is what matters most. i believe this question brings the kingdom of heaven to the kingdoms of earth in a provoking way. it disturbs everyone: that is, it moves everyone: to think (or rethink) and respond.

so what about you? who do you say yeshua is?

[selah]

simon peter, in good ole simon-peter fashion, steps up and puts it all on the line: he answered his rabbi by proclaiming, “you are meshiach.” what i love about this exchange is that simon peter answers this question in the company of his peers! i kind of imagine there being the awkward silence between yeshua’s question and peter’s response…and then even more awkward silence when he squeezes out his last word.

i wonder how long did yeshua let him hang there. did it feel like an eternity? did he have time to doubt, second guess himself? it wouldn’t surprise me. after all, though he recently walked on water,  but he also recently “began to sink”. (matthew 14.29, 30)

no one else got out of the boat to walk toward yeshua. and apparently, no one else got up the courage to put forth their response to that question.

make no mistake. it absolutely does take courage to answer that question. every morning it takes courage, i believe. why? because: it always leads to an incredible amount of other questions.

if you are messiah… if you ARE the son of the only living god, YHWH… what now? what about today? if you really do heal… what do i do now that i’ve received that healing!? if you really do make all things new… then am i to actually start fresh, even though i feel so attached to my worries from yesterday or my anxieties about tomorrow? if you truly forgive… now am i supposed to just up and forgive those who have wronged me? if you lead like a rabbi… if your kingdom is a reality… if you care more about your glory and the redemption of the world… if you love us…

and the questions will come like a torrent. and though you may feel overwhelmed. even as you are being swept over, you will be cleansed by that torrent: if you say yeshua is messiah.

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despite my unbelief, i believe that who i am is a son of the only living god & king, YHWH [blessed be his name]. a son of the resurrection. a son of the wind which bends all things.

i wonder: would i recognize jesus if he walked past me in target? assuming he were not dressed like a 1st century jewish man. i wonder if would recognize jesus if i overheard him speaking to a group of twenty-somethings at a local coffee shop.

would you? would i? are our expectations of him accurate?

john the baptizer’s disciples sent word to yeshua (jesus) asking if he were the ‘expected one’. i like the fact that this question is included in these ancient writings: it makes it current and cuts to the heart.

it was clear that they were, at the very least, unsure about his messiahship. my research suggests they had good cause: his disciples did not fast or participate in some of the more austere habits as other disciples; he and his disciples surrounded themselves with people no one in their right mind should surround themselves with; he did not always speak highly of those in places of religious authority; and he was not ‘learnt in the letters’, that is, he was not the best educated by their standards.

and yet. he was committed to love. lived a life of simplicity. taught as one with authority. performed countless miracles. became a voice for the voiceless. he embodied grace, mercy, and forgiveness.

it leads to so many other questions, in my opinion.

if he were actually walking this earth, where would he be found? moreover, would i dare go there? would he be outside of a strip club? or sitting at a bar? might he be standing at a well-established church, criticizing those who have never ‘lifted a finger for the gasping weaker’? maybe in washington d.c. befriending the crooked politicians and ‘tax-collectors’? perhaps, breaking bread with a group of addicts down in tent city? or even enjoying a day in the park with a family and their newborn daughter?

yeshua said that when he ascended, those left here would do even greater things than he did. it’s obvious, of course, that this is possible not because we will become greater than him (for a servant is never greater than his master) – but that we would, by the spirit of GOD in us, be able to literally cover more ground than he did: we are able to eat with those addicts while also befriending the tax-collectors while also enjoying a day with our families while also conversating with church leaders while also serving the homeless while also writing a poem while also watching the sun rise – really watching the sun rise.

so i am left wondering, do i even recognize who i am in messiah: in christ: in him. to be honest, some moments i do recognize, i do catch a glimpse. and some moments i look like an ‘empty shell of a man’.

when people meet us, i believe the question should be, “are you like the one, or should we expect someone else?”

our response, a very heavy and humbling response, should be, “tell me what you see.”

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despite my unbelief, i believe that who i am is a son of the only living god & king, YHVH [blessed be his name]. a son of the resurrection. a son of the wind which bends all things.