“And he called the place Massah and Meribah because the Israelites quarreled and because they tested the LORD saying, ‘Is the LORD among us or not?’” – Exodus 17.7

+

this morning, brian threw out a question to the assembly; immediately, an answer formed in my mind and sunk like a rock, finding it’s way to the bottom of my heart. brian asked us,

“when you’re going through a transition, what kind of things would you use to describe what you’re feeling?”

and people probably felt things like: chaos, confusion, doubt, wonder, impatience, etc.

my word, though, was temptation. i feel tempted most when i am leaving the “duties of the inner court” and waiting to enter into the manifesting transformative arena of “the most holy place”. the twenty-inch span between the two sides of the veil (in the second temple)  feels like a mile wide chasm of temptation to me.

i feel tempted most when i am in transition. it’s my massah: it’s where i am right now: it’s where this winter has me camped. specifically, for me, i am in between employment and waiting to see what this means for me and my family.

this is why “the lord’s prayer” is proving more and more to be a required force in my life, much like the laws of gravity or motion.

before this prayer is anything, we need to understand what it’s not. it’s not, for example, an entirely new concept that yeshua made up on the spot: he intentionally took an existing prayer* and added to it – which is a pattern he continues to reveal throughout the gospels! this prayer is also not an outdated intended only for the disciples at that time: every rabbi in that day and age had a series of prayers, and really, a prayer, that defined their sort of purpose and gave life to their community – this is why the disciples are caught asking for a prayer in the same way that john (the baptizer) had given his disciples a prayer (or, had taught them to pray).

this particular prayer was an intentional and deeply meaningful prayer which was to carry the breath of men for ages to come: these words are the defining conversation starters between us, the children, and our father: oh, it’s more! it is the headpiece that yeshua fashioned for his bride to wear as she prepares to meet him in the last days!

[selah]

and ultimately, much commentary can be made regarding each line or word of this prayer; but i want to circle back to massah. it’s the part of the prayer that often is recited, but rarely understood and therefore rarely realized.

“lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from the evil (one).”

cutting right to the chase, the israelites of exodus 17 are wandering in transition. they have the manna (which really means, “what-is-it?”). they have the leadership of moses. they have grumbling and desert and wandering before them. and they are led to a place near rephidim: they are thirsty: and there is no water to drink. essentially, the question, no, the temptation, arises within them, “WHAT KIND OF MANIPULATIVE GOD LEADS US TO THE DESERT WITH NO WATER – A MURDEROUS AND ABSENT GOD HE MUST BE. IS HE AMONG US, IS HE FOR US, OR NOT?” (my speculation). but indeed. YHWH tells moses to strike a rock and water will spring forth – from the rock – and water is provided unto the children of the desert.

it is here that the place they were led is given two names: massah & meribah = temptation and reviling.

fast-forward. yeshua now teaches his disciples to pray, “lead us not into massah temptation: but deliver us from evil.” the language stretches back to the pentateuch: to the exodus.

what are we basically saying when we pray those words? we are agreeing that we do not want to relive the desert experience of distrusting GOD. we are asking GOD to keep us trusting him. we don’t want to be led into the temptation that GOD does not have a plan for us in the midst of what looks like a place with no plan!

we are asking to be delivered from unbelief and utterly given over to belief. yes. in the place of transition. in the chaos. in the confusion.

may we not relive that portion of the desert experience. may we fear not, only believe.

*this existing prayer is the kaddish, central to jewish liturgy along with the s’hma and amidah.

–

despite my unbelief, i believe that who i am is a son of the only living god & king, YHWH [blessed be his name]. a son of the resurrection. a son of the wind which bends all things.

i don’t have much to put forth yet. in regards to this: this whole akeidah story. but i do have some questions.

over the years, though, this has become one of the most common stops along my scriptural journey. this mountain. this father and this son.

“would you bring your isaac?” has become a phrase as synonymous with the story itself. the willingness to sacrifice. the exchange between avraham and YHWH. the whole thing.

but. i was reading through the story again. just the other night. and, as these living words often do, the story unfolded in a different way: everything about it was different.

and all the sudden, the weight was not on why avraham would get up early to sacrifice his son. it was not on how he, a 100+ year old father, managed to convince his healthy adult son to be bound on an altar. it wasn’t even on the incredible faithfulness of our mutual father, the sovereign LORD ALMIGHTY.

it was on the absence of one person: isaac. i am disturbed to the point of meditation and contemplation and conversation: why didn’t isaac go back down the mountain with his father? where did he go? what was he feeling? and what have others come to gain from meditating on such things?

[selah]

+

for whatever reason, i woke up this morning at half past three. i finally gave in to the restlessness and got up close to four. i mumbled to the spirit: “okay. you woke me up. now what…?” i continued praying and thinking and feeling and wondering and praying and meditating and eventually picked up my place in isaiah (i am slowly reading through the scriptures from beginning to end (or is it from beginning to beginning?)).

somehow or another i was led (by the spirit perhaps?) to some weird cross reference which carried me to an interesting little story which has stuck with me for these twelve plus hours.

elijah. the prophet. long before showing up at the transfiguration with the dashing lads of yeshua and moshe, was about to be introduced into the narrative of history in a most peculiar way. quite abruptly we learn of this rogue prophet, elijah, who is a tishbite and of the “sojourners of gilead”. he goes with some bad news that will soon befall the presently corrupt king of israel, ahab.

then, again almost too abruptly, we find out that “the word of YHWH came to him.” and isn’t that amazing in and of itself? GOD has, at multiple times throughout history, come to us: blessed be his holy name.

so the word of YHWH came to him saying…something that has been said* most poignantly before: to a different sort of prophet: more than one thousand years before: to abraham at ur, the word of YHWH came and said, “lech lecha” or, “go for you” (genesis 12). leave ur. and walk towards something new.

and now, here in 874BC, we discover that the word of YHWH came to elijah saying…something completely absurd: do not perform miracles, do not speak to the people, do not warn the communities, do not bless the righteous, do not speak; yet are you a prophet, and you shall not prophesy: “leave here, turn eastward and hide in the kerith ravine.”

leave here. leave where you are at. literally AND figuratively, i believe. elijah was commanded to leave. to “go for you” to someplace else. someplace new. some place already known by GOD.

turn eastward. that is, turn towards a new dawn, a new beginning, a place where light shall fall upon you fresh and illuminate your way – even as you walk.

and hide. literally, to cover yourself. to make yourself unseen. which is absurd (rather, mysterious) that a prophet would hear such a call from his god. that he should hide himself as he walks toward the sun – what a word picture.

in the kerith ravine. and here is the glorious end to the first part of this word from YHWH. for you see, beloved, that a ravine is, by definition, a deep valley of sorts: a narrow gorge which is cut out of the earth from the effects of water over time. and kerith (keh-reeth) carries the meaning(s), “to whittle away, to file down, to cut”.

[leave here (where you are and all that you know) and turn towards the dawning of a new day. and walk and live and move and breathe towards me and my word to you. and hide yourself in a deep valley that is cut out by water that you, too, may be cut out and filed down and whittled away until all that remains is what i, YHWH, leave behind.]

[selah]

more to come…

–

despite my unbelief, i believe that who i am is a son of the only living god & king, YHWH [blessed be his name]. a son of the resurrection. a son of the wind which bends all things.

“fear not. only believe.” – yeshua of nazareth

the sky was very dark and water was falling from the heavens. and every so often, the wind would stir and streaks of light would reflect off of owen’s eyes.

i think it was one of the coolest ‘conversations’ i have had with my son yet. we whispered together while at the same time watching together. it was an incredible feeling to watch a storm through the eyes of a one-year old: every drop of rain turned his head, every flash of lightning seemed to cause him to wonder.

but we also whispered. it began with him raising his hand, pointing toward infinity, and whispering what i am pretty sure was, “whoa.” i replied, as quietly and carefully as i could, “yes, son, that just happened.” i proceeded to put it forth that there is, indeed, a god with a name [blessed be his holy name] who is the source of all things: who creates the wind: who turns dawn into darkness: who is the only true god: yes, YHWH, the lord of hosts, is his name.

but every so often, thunder would crack through the silence. and naturally, his little ears would hear such a sound and cause his eyes to blink in fear. it occurred to me that there was no better time to reveal these words of jesus to a scared soul, “fear not. only believe.”

it is nothing new to hear that fear paralyzes and faith propels; that fear and faith are so delicately opposed while also being definitvely intertwined. i wanted owen to understand that the command to fear not is given to us not because jesus is a cold-hearted, numb and naive man with no compassion for those who find themselves afraid; he gives this command alongside another command: only believe, only have faith.

there will be times when we are scared, but our response is not to fear. we are, in fact, commanded to only believe. to believe that YHWH is who he says he is. to believe that our god cares about us. to believe that all things are ours. to believe that he will finish/complete/make whole what he begins. to believe that even death is not the end for those in christ jesus. to believe that our god is the lord of hosts and his command is to take the land! only believe.

our god turns dawn into darkness, for it is often under the cover of darkness that our eyes fail and faith prevails.

–

despite my unbelief, i believe that who i am is a son of the only living god & king, YHWH [blessed be his name]. a son of the resurrection. a son of the wind which bends all things.