new wine is here, new life is come. be
found, o wedding of cana, in me and
be found in us.

a new time is here, new life is come. be
found, o wine of yeshua, in me and
be found in us.

feel the grapes of favor beneath your
feet, may we not contain the life with-
in. may it flow into the gutters of her
street: she who is homeless and with-
need.

feel the grapes of wrath beneath your
feet, you who are hung over from self-
righteousness. may we sober up only to
see clearly the wine we so desperately-
need.

new wine is here, new life is come. be
found, o feet, stained with the evidence
of nights in the press,

a new time is here, new life is come. be
found, o body, numbered among the best
of those who transgress,

behold, drunkards are thirsty for life and
prostitutes long to be wined and dined and
the bride has been avoiding the vineyard and
we are altogether in need of being together again.

(c)  justin p. heap, 2010

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this is the fourth in the ‘kingdom confessions series’, where i, ii, and iii can be found there.

also, presently compiling and writing poems, essays, and other collections of words to be used in a self-published book – more for an historical account than anything else…but hey, you got to start somewhere!

anyways, here’s to drinking real wine and being found knee-deep in the winepress in the middle of the vineyard! cheers!

Q/ so what wine do you drink, anyway?

these have found a longstanding home in my journal, and are presently being rolled around inside my head and heart. i’ll disclose full links when possible, or when i care to, or at least when, in actuality, i do.

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leslie newbigin remarked, “the only hermeneutic of the gospel is a congregation of men and women who believe it and live by it.”

from rumi i have stolen this, “come, come, whoever you are. wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. it doesn’t matter. ours is not a caravan of despair. come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. come, yet again, come, come.”

these last words of a fictional character still haunt me to this day, “i am concerned only over one thing. i hope you will be wholehearted, not torn in two.” – abuyah to his son elisha in milton steinberg’s novel, as a driven leaf. also reminiscent of “you cannot serve two masters…”.

danny silk on parenting reminds me that, “the goal is not to control the child, but to control ourselves. to be self-controlled; to give them (the child) a model of a well-put together adult…and prepare them to live in the kingdom of GOD: in the presence of the LORD: and where the presence of the LORD is, there is freedom and liberty.”

in a dream, i had this thought, “faith without works is as running without movement.” i guess this is a dead giveaway that our local church has been walking through the letter of james lately. haha!

amazon is currently selling 143 Kindle books for every 100 hardcover volumes.

mumford and sons’ lyrics remind me who GOD is when they sing, “love will not betray, dismay or enslave you / it will set you free / to be more like the man / you were meant to be” – 1 john 4.16, i mean, what do we do with that, really?

–

POST-SCRIPT ;]

this is an intimate and exploded view of my thought/heart processes:

i saw– reminiscent of isaiah’s ‘vision’ in chapter six and the source of divinity therein. also, i think of yeshua looking upon the crowds and being moved to gut-level compassion…

wounded healers and generous thieves — characteristic of a community who is moving deeper into community and therefore becoming communitas; also embracing the hope that those yet to be reborn are being drawn to and met by the community, thus becoming a gathering of some who worship GOD and some who doubt (mt 28.17).

serving and loving their neighbors well; — we’re serving all with humility and equality (jn 13) and we will be known by our love (jn 13.35) – tangibly so because our faith is a verb (!*) therefore, our good works (eph 2.10) will be fleshed out as we serve and love.

where we are literally becoming GOD’s will being done on earth– maybe this language sounds a bit odd to most readers, but think of it like so: we often pray, “may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” and rightly so, but we understand that to begin with us – therefore, i see a community who is literally becoming GOD’s WILL in action – being done – fleshed out. this is also known as, being the body.

as we are forgiving completely, this is the first summation of three parables as used by yeshua to describe what the kingdom of heaven is like – as found in matthew 13 – the wheat and the weeds. we are to aphete/forgive/allow/let. and the word ‘completely’ is actually a reference to the mt 18.21 passage about forgiving “seven times seventy”, but the idea is not a numerical formula: rather, it is symbolic of a whole and complete forgiveness.

living vulnerably, also from mt. 13, the parable of the mustard seed which completely upends the ways of the kingdoms of this world: where the field is the world, and the seed, which is the agent of transformation, dies into the field! what’s more, is that the purpose is to bear fruit in such a way where all benefit; where all find a home in the kingdom, because of our vulnerability.

and seeking to ruin every one and every thing for anyone other than YHWH.– the idea behind the third parable in that mt 13 triplet, the yeast hidden/concealed in the dough: it was understood that even the tiniest amount of yeast/leaven would absolutely ruin an entire batch of dough – and yet, here we find yeshua making it a primary descriptor for what the kingdom of heaven is like! we are to be about corrupting the corruption: being ministers of reconciliation: ruining every THING and every ONE (institutions and forests and peoples and hearts ad infinitum) for anyone other than YHWH: where everything either finds it’s purpose or finds it’s home in being reconciled to/used by the one true and only living god.

behold, even the very skyline of !@#$%^&* is becoming new! — i think this rides on the heels, obviously, of the previous thought, but with a heightened reminder that, just like the walls of a canyon are made and remade by the wind and water cutting back and forth, so it will be within a city where the kingdom of heaven is advancing: even the very geological landscape, the landmarks, the street signs, the bookstores, the coffee shops, the parks – everything will change: everything must change under the weight of such glory. and i see that happening!

–

by following hard after and falling madly in love with yeshua.– suffice it to say, this isn’t an all-inclusive, paid trip to some remote island, complete with daily spa and massages, and an island-wide david crowder*band concert every single night and live tapings of wipeout every morning with the afternoons free to just chill. you know, this is not the end-all statement about HOW-TO. but i think it is the one vital element in how to become.

obviously, it presupposes that we believe yeshua to be who he says he is: the son of GOD. the son of man (bar nasha). the messiah. the christ. the annointed one. the king of kings of kings.

furthermore, it finds it’s base in this truth: that yeshua did only what he saw the father doing.

even more so, we know that he did those very things by living dependently upon the spirit.

there’s a lot in between that this statement carries…but let’s just skip to the end with this epic bombshell: in him (yeshua) we live and move and have our being (acts 17.28). and in him (yeshua, the christ) all the fullness of the deity lives in bodily form (colossians 2.9)! and dare we remember, that will do even greater things that he!?

need i say more?

as part of a second-round interview process with a local church i was asked to provide a few things: my philosophy of (vocational) ministry, a few mp3′s of conversations/talks, and my vision statement.

i have just revisited my philosophy of vocational ministry – in the form of moonshine, nonetheless! i can burn some mp3′s no problem. but a formal sort of vision “statement” would be new ground to break. not that i haven’t had a “vision” per se. but i have never formulated said vision into a living, breathing, statement of sorts.

and so began a prayer-induced, somewhat critical look into this thing called, ‘a vision statement.’

long story short. i did what any justin heap would do:  i waded in to the deep etymology of vision. of course, it resulted in things like chazown (hebrew), horasis (greek), google goggles (not really, but still, a VERY cool google labs mobile development app) and a general search of where/how this word is used throughout the scriptures.

next was to hit up some of my web-connected local churches i follow and review their vision statements.

and then i just listened…it’s a lot like standing at an overpass on I-40E: a lot of motion, sounds and colors all fighting for your attention: but one thing remains constant: the road beneath. and if one were to look a bit more intensely, one might find what has been there all along: a grey canvas with cracks, grooves, and (dis)coloration: a canvas existing beneath the chaos in perfect quietness, receiving the traffic with a grace all it’s own.

my experience was kind of like that. and what follows is that canvas of constant, with it’s cracks, no doubt – but it’s at least something honest and concrete to begin with – and hopefully – to live with: something that can withstand the traffic of life, so to speak.

first what i came to understand/see: a vision, as understood against the story of scripture, is a specific dream or hope for a specific people, tribe, land, etc. it’s not a goal. it’s not a motto. it’s not even actually a statement, per se. it’s a divine picture.

then what i noticed: a lot of local churches confuse vision with mission. or vision with doctrine. or vision with a slogan. or all of the above. again, it’s not so much a picture for their community and city as much as it is a goal to be achieved or a bullet point to check off – very little conveyance of a dream or a hope or a picture at all – and in some cases, not even really about their community.

but then i saw/heard: a vision “statement” if there is to be one, should exist as an organic response to this question: TELL ME, WHAT DO YOU SEE for this people/community?

selah.

(i wonder if too many people looking to take up the joyous burden of vocational ministry don’t consider this question with the respect it’s due: is it possible that GOD has not given you a vision for/of this people and this community at this time in history? you shouldn’t have to force that vision. it’s a divine picture, which implies that it didn’t come from you! haha.)

so i prayed and ate that question. with a certain amount of tip-toeing into the question, because i recognized that GOD may not have a divine picture to give me for this certain local church. but i was willing to ask the question. (i think we must be willing to ask that question, and even continue asking that question throughout our journey as leaders in the local church.)

but i did see a divine picture, born, yes, out of my research and life experiences, but also given life by the city in which i live, the gospel which i preach, the parables of yeshua specifically, and the last few days of prayer…so, after a few drafts of putting it into words, this is the word-picture, the:

i saw wounded healers and generous thieves serving and loving their neighbors well; where we are literally becoming GOD’s will being done on earth as we are forgiving completely, living vulnerably, and seeking to ruin every one and every thing for anyone other than YHWH. behold, even the very skyline of !@#$%^&* is becoming new!

and finally, i heard a follow up question: in a succinct and incredibly distilled phrase, how does that picture/vision become a reality? and again, these words took shape:

by following hard after and falling madly in love with yeshua.

anyways. he recently tweeted,

created a new word today for transitioning and planting a church at the same time…PLANSITIONING…let me know if you already created it.

well. i have not already created it. but i have been dreaming of a variant of said created word, which is probably not a first either, but here goes:

grafting. to unite (a shoot or bud) with a growing plant by insertion or by placing in close contact.

right? so. rather than plant or start a local church in a city where there is likely already a local church meeting – which in some respects would be far easier – you would seek to graft a local church into an existing on*.

obviously, many obstacles would emerge. leadership issues, priorities of two or more groups, histories and traditions merging with hopes of different generations and backgrounds…but are these not already found in a local church pressing into the abundant life anyway? are these not the very real and needed points of friction which create a furious love between the communitas and for the community at large?

what do you think? have you been a part of such a grafting or plansitioning or something else similar? or something else altogether different?

*i am not against planting a local church – but i do think it’s a valid endeavor to question what is seemingly becoming a default answer for small groups or pastors wanting to “start a (local) church.”

even monday saw the continuing rise of the cumberland and harpeth rivers resulting in many parts of nashville proper to take on water and substantial damage: businesses along 1st and 2nd ave, the schermerhorn symphony hall, bridgestone arena (formerly the nashville arena/sommet center/gaylord entertainment center/nashville arena) opry mills, opryland hotel, and the famed grand ole opry house were all met by the rising waters of the cumberland.

and all of this is, simply speaking, not good. it is disturbing. but the silver lining of disturbance is it’s ability to move us. like many of our friends, once we knew our families and houses were spared, we began looking for ways to help. and then comes the barrage of ways to serve – but struggling with feeling exactly how you could serve, kind of feeling a little helpless because of so much need!of course, the fastest and easy thing – but still VERY much needed – was the redcross text effort: $10 to 90999.

then, one of our friends tipped us off to one of her friends who was collecting all sorts of clothes and toiletry items for pennington bend residents. so off to the dollar general store we went and purchased the items which would help at least a few people in the days to come…and then it was into the attic and through the 4 tubs of owen’s clothes he clearly did not fit anymore – trisha sorted it out and we ended up giving away a quantifiable grip of clothing for many a pennington boy, i hope. haha.

then, later in the week i heard of an opportunity to help out with trevecca, so i jumped at the chance and headed into town. i and two buddies delivered 7 couches (which they were able to buy from goodwill for a total of $76 – score!) and worked alongside delores and star ministries* to organize some food, clothes, and water – all in all, i only spent a little bit of time, great as it was, working with and for those affected by the flooding. i really wanted to get closer, to practice “immediate compassion,” to encourage, to listen, to do i-don’t-really-know-what, so before heading back home, i made my way back and around to:

lewis st/1st ave: where i spoke (and, to my surprise, laughed) with a “d*mn old, white,  brotha” – his own words – who “loves god today more than yesterday,” despite the fact that the hud housing apartments he was living in had just been remodeled and now stood a reeking and broken mess – all of what little possessions he owned now lay in a wet pile next to my car.

claiborne street: where i met a woman who was not affected by the flood, but her elderly father, who lived somewhere else in town, had been trapped for almost two days.

demonbreun street: where i was able to hear with new ears of the unimaginable erasure of tent city from ron and “d”, a couple of homeless people waiting to go…well, nowhere. tent city is no more. i learned later that it can’t even be accessed now except by people with full hepatitis shots and hazmat suits – it is a condemned hazardous area.

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for me, what GOD seems to be bringing up time and time again is the need for what i can only describe as immediate compassion: the practice of “getting in to the others skin” wherever and whenever you find yourself. and, i do see this being inclusive of the radical idea that we need to be present with people to truly practice immediate compassion. not that we can’t respond from a distance with money, resources, etc – but i do believe there is a marked difference between immediate compassion and a distant or separated response of compassion – though both can surely be used in their own rights!

no matter what we’re doing to serve and bring the kingdom, we need to do it with new eyes and new ears. and in this way, what act of service or monetary donation could ever be without purpose? how can we ever practice immediate compassion and not change those near us – even the very geological landscape – or not be changed ourselves?

please continue to pray for both those affected by the flood and those affecting those affected by the flood: may GOD be known as his disciples are known by their love and immediate compassion.

*star ministries is a great little food bank operating out of the strong passion and deep love of people like delores – a tennessee state university advisor who plans on retiring soon to work full time with star ministries and the communities between lewis and 1st ave.

Light gives warmth;
all the more, light
which gives itself to the dark

but light is
notorious
also, for exposing us(

that’s what the
aurora is,
charred particles escaping.
but is this
not the hope of
sons and daughters everywhere?

)everywhere
cold hearts finding
life in the very light they
they fear. And,
growing warm, sing
to the dark from which they came.

(c) 2010 Justin P. Heap

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but we so often want to retreat; and inevitably, we forget that we are not meant to retreat, to shrink back, to erect gates, to create ghettos.

what a ghetto we’ve created, what a savior we have!

may we abandon the ghettos we’ve created in lieu of the church: may we once again re-plant ourselves in the garden, which is the world. may we re-member ourselves to each other through the breath which binds and the wind which bends all things. may we gather our dress from around our feet and place the flowers in our hair again. maybe we could sing to the dark from which we came, for behold, the world is dark, and light is precious.*

but not without forgiveness. withholding forgiveness creates space between our limbs; indeed, it creates space between the members. it disfigures the body and makes ugly what is meant to be beautiful. forgiving as GOD forgives reveals the seal of our heart and breaks our pride. it places us within the skin of the other. and in this place, the skin of the other, we have eliminated the space in between which disfigures and have become compassion which restores and re-figures.

Q/ what steps will you take/have you taken to leave the ghetto? what are some ways your local community is living into redemption by forgiving others? and what has been your experience of “getting into the skin of the other person” that you may be compassion, singing into the dark?

*kate dicamillo

seek first the kingdom of heaven and all these things will be added unto you.

every time i pray/say/think/visualize/taste these words, i hear a faint “boom-roasted” being whispered into my life. tu chez, jesus, tu chez.

this has led me to a somewhat steeper, rougher, less-traveled path: the audaciously prophetic as opposed to the apparently perfect.

the apparently perfect job will pay the bills, stroke the flame of our ego, and make us happy.

the audaciously prophetic move will provide more than money, stoke the fire of humility, and reinforce joy.

the apparently perfect employer will hire an employee.

the audaciously prophetic ecclessia will welcome a servant.

this is becoming my prayer and gentle response to the local churches at large: please, don’t hire me.

welcome me. forgive me. love my family. and let’s be church already!

this is the language i see being fulfilled in scripture of the church: welcoming, greeting, forgiving, loving, sharing, serving.

this is the language i see being fulfilled in histories of the empire: hiring, training, climbing, penalizing, performing, earning.

i don’t want to be a part of a local church community who wishes to expand: i am already claiming the truth that we are not of those who shrink back! (hebrews 10.39)

i don’t want to be hired on to do a job: i am already claiming the truth that we have been created to do good works! (ephesians 2.10)

[selah]

the other night, at community group, i was asked by a friend, jessica, what i would do if i could do anything – the million dollar question, right?

without thinking i said, “teach.” meaning, teach in a local church community. but that bothered me into the night and the through the next day. that’s the short answer, but it’s also a bit safe, biased, and apparently perfect. teaching is a lot of fun, and i do think i am talented and gifted* in that area: but it’s not what i would be doing if i could do anything (vocationally speaking).

if i could do anything (and get paid for it), i would want to be serving people in the ways i was designed so the glory of GOD would be manifested and transformation would be inevitable. now, i have a hunch that this is connected to what makes my heart beat fast…

here’s a recap of what makes my heart beat fast:

the reality of the kingdom of heaven, the clarity of the gospel of jesus of nazareth, and the diversity/unity of the local church.

to each his/her own – but those are mine.

[what makes your heart beat fast?]

so, what? am i looking to be a youth pastor? a community pastor? a teaching pastor?

well. to be quite honest, i’m not real fond of the word pastor, per se…and not just to be different – read matthew 23.8-11.

but here’s the deal. i want to conversate and serve and forgive and love people. right now, i am believe GOD has plans to make the most of my gifts in a youth/college/young adult/young family/small group platform(s) – but the titles are not the all-encompassing goal. they are important, just not as important as i am finding most local churches to make of them.

so again. don’t hire me. but if you’re interested in welcoming a wounded healer and generous thief into your midst, then by all means, please let’s connect and pray and see where this goes. because, quite frankly, i am getting burned out from all these “ads” looking for the perfect person with x-y years of experience and blah blah blah (apparently, kei$ha’s got you covered.)

i’m not perfect. i am a beautiful mess.

i’m not looking to get hired to do a job. i am seeking the kingdom and praying for a prophetic move into a community to love GOD and love others – well, at least make that journey beside people who are trying to do the same.

sincerely,

some guy who would like a job but doesn’t want to be hired.

“With God all things are possible”—
that’s the beginning and the end
of theology. If all things are possible,
nothing is impossible.
Why do the godly then
keep slinging out their nooses?

–

here’s a call to the church: a call through the streets of the kingdom: to return again to a small theology of our great god, YHWH.

if more of us within the church and this great kingdom would put down the stones and quit slinging out our nooses, what a kingdom we would be! if we could find the courage to trust this small theology, perhaps more people could trust us…and come to trust yeshua himself.

and i recognize, it’s not because i am perfect that i proclaim this message: it’s precisely because i am not. in the words of aaron gillespie,

i’ve been / dirtier / than you / want to know

my only hope in this life rests on the one who comes to me in my brokenness, kneels to meet me in the dirt, looks into my eyes, and promises that all things are possible: restoration, redemption, and resurrection: forgiveness, fellowship, and freedom: grace, mercy, and love.

[selah]

few poets can move so quickly and with such grace as wendell berry.

i was first introduced to berry as a sophomore at cornerstone university – my philosophy prof was a big fan; even taking a week off from school to drive to kentucky, meet with the farmer-poet-teacher, turn back to grand rapids and learn us in the ways of ole wendell!

anyways. if you have a pulse and at least a sliver of a piece of a tiny shred of a desire to learn from those who have and are still going before us, then you need to invest some time in becoming acquainted with wendell berry.

i leave you now with berry’s thoughts on church leadership given by way of a brilliant analogy: that of a farm and a farmer.

When one buys the farm and moves there to live, something different begins. Thoughts begin to be translated into acts…. It invariably turns out, I think, that one’s first vision of one’s place was to some extent an imposition on it. But if one’s sight is clear and one stays on and works well, one’s love gradually responds to the place as it really is, and one’s visions gradually image possibilities that are really in it…. Two human possibilities of the highest order thus come within reach: what one wants can become the same as what one has, and one’s knowledge can cause respect for what one knows. … The good worker will not suppose that good work can be made properly answerable to haste, urgency, or even emergency…. Seen in this way, questions about farming become inseparable from questions about propriety of scale. A farm can be too big for a farmer to husband properly or pay proper attention to. Distraction is inimical to correct discipline, and enough time is beyond reach of anyone who has too much to do. But we must go farther and see that propriety of scale is invariably associated with propriety of another kind: an understanding and acceptance of the human place in the order of Creation–a proper humility…. It is the properly humbled mind in its proper place that sees truly, because–to give only one reason–it sees details.

is anyone else familiar with wendell berry? and what are some practical ways that we, as the body of the son of man, can “quit slinging out our nooses?” as we declare with a cry of victory: “all things are possible.”? how do we get to that place of “proper humility” that we may see truly and see the details?

–

despite my unbelief, i believe that who i am is a son of the only living god & king, YHWH [blessed be his name]. a son of the resurrection. a son of the wind which bends all things.

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Statistics show that the best means of evangelism within an American context is starting a church. 13

/

…We considered a number of reasons that seemed to indicate that we, too, should multiply small churches rather than seeking to get larger. 13

/

–

if any of you have read this book, please feel free to share your thoughts! also, are there any of you who are a part of an “organic” or “simple” local church community? and what has your experience been?