a beautiful mess

after much job-searching i am still convinced the whole charade is really about GOD-seeking.

seek first the kingdom of heaven and all these things will be added unto you.

every time i pray/say/think/visualize/taste these words, i hear a faint “boom-roasted” being whispered into my life. tu chez, jesus, tu chez.

this has led me to a somewhat steeper, rougher, less-traveled path: the audaciously prophetic as opposed to the apparently perfect.

the apparently perfect job will pay the bills, stroke the flame of our ego, and make us happy.

the audaciously prophetic move will provide more than money, stoke the fire of humility, and reinforce joy.

the apparently perfect employer will hire an employee.

the audaciously prophetic ecclessia will welcome a servant.

this is becoming my prayer and gentle response to the local churches at large: please, don’t hire me.

welcome me. forgive me. love my family. and let’s be church already!

this is the language i see being fulfilled in scripture of the church: welcoming, greeting, forgiving, loving, sharing, serving.

this is the language i see being fulfilled in histories of the empire: hiring, training, climbing, penalizing, performing, earning.

i don’t want to be a part of a local church community who wishes to expand: i am already claiming the truth that we are not of those who shrink back! (hebrews 10.39)

i don’t want to be hired on to do a job: i am already claiming the truth that we have been created to do good works! (ephesians 2.10)

[selah]

the other night, at community group, i was asked by a friend, jessica, what i would do if i could do anything – the million dollar question, right?

without thinking i said, “teach.” meaning, teach in a local church community. but that bothered me into the night and the through the next day. that’s the short answer, but it’s also a bit safe, biased, and apparently perfect. teaching is a lot of fun, and i do think i am talented and gifted* in that area: but it’s not what i would be doing if i could do anything (vocationally speaking).

if i could do anything (and get paid for it), i would want to be serving people in the ways i was designed so the glory of GOD would be manifested and transformation would be inevitable. now, i have a hunch that this is connected to what makes my heart beat fast…

here’s a recap of what makes my heart beat fast:

the reality of the kingdom of heaven, the clarity of the gospel of jesus of nazareth, and the diversity/unity of the local church.

to each his/her own – but those are mine.

[what makes your heart beat fast?]

so, what? am i looking to be a youth pastor? a community pastor? a teaching pastor?

well. to be quite honest, i’m not real fond of the word pastor, per se…and not just to be different – read matthew 23.8-11.

but here’s the deal. i want to conversate and serve and forgive and love people. right now, i am believe GOD has plans to make the most of my gifts in a youth/college/young adult/young family/small group platform(s) – but the titles are not the all-encompassing goal. they are important, just not as important as i am finding most local churches to make of them.

so again. don’t hire me. but if you’re interested in welcoming a wounded healer and generous thief into your midst, then by all means, please let’s connect and pray and see where this goes. because, quite frankly, i am getting burned out from all these “ads” looking for the perfect person with x-y years of experience and blah blah blah (apparently, kei$ha’s got you covered.)

i’m not perfect. i am a beautiful mess.

i’m not looking to get hired to do a job. i am seeking the kingdom and praying for a prophetic move into a community to love GOD and love others – well, at least make that journey beside people who are trying to do the same.

sincerely,

some guy who would like a job but doesn’t want to be hired.