a beautiful mess

“And rising very early, going out, he went into a desert place: and there he prayed.” – Mark 1.35 (Douay-Rheims Translation)

“Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it / Prone to leave the God I love” – R.F.

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it seems there is a very real landscape to our prayers. there exists, along the journey of every follower of jesus, many different ‘places’ we are found in prayer. places we go. places we can be still in. places we can wander from. some, physical places with tangible anchors to a very real world; others, invisible places built in our minds and hearts to open our eyes and ears. do you know of these places?

i find it fascinating that jesus goes to “a desert place”. a solitary place. and there he prayed. so was he not in a state of prayer beforehand? i don’t believe so; i believe that he understood better than anyone the delicate art of living and walking and moving and breathing in the spirit: in keeping company with, GOD.

the desert place. a place, perhaps, where the wind is not obscured by the buildings erected by the hands of men. a place where whispers are sacred and silence gives birth to an oasis of conversation. and there he prayed.

[selah]

the desert place, while it was still dark. a place in time as well as a place in space. some translations even suggest that he left in the middle of the night: which, for the ancient jew, was the beginning of their day (at sunset). it’s almost as if jesus were getting up early to join his father in the work he was doing. it’s comforting to know that the light of the world went into a dark, deserted place, and there he prayed.

it is usually in those places that i am prone to wander. i can feel it. immediately, my senses betray me and i want to rush back to the world i know, instead of to the GOD i love. i find i am easily satisfied by 60 watts of artificial ‘daylight’. and many times, i would rather hear a dull voice, over a still voice.

[selah]

but oh that i would be found praying. in all places, of course. but in the desert place. in the dark. early. there, praying. with my face near the ground and my heart broken and contrite. while the trees are listening and the waves are mere lines before me. there, praying.

“…and lead us not into the place of temptation (massah)…” that is, the place where we doubt that you are there.

for even when all is still dark. when my eyes deny your presence, deliver me, i pray!

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despite my unbelief, i believe that who i am is a son of the only living god & king, YHVH [blessed be his name]. a son of the resurrection. a son of the wind which bends all things.

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